Two weeks into becoming a parent and I am beginning to see exactly what it is we needed, and what we didn't. The first week back from the hospital, we must have had twenty boxes delivered to our house as I camped out on the computer trying to get what we needed when I realized we needed it. So, I thought perhaps it would be helpful for all those future-parents out there to have a list of what you really need. And, for all those already-parents out there, please feel free to add to my list with your comments!
For Baby:
Clothes: For starters, make sure you are aware of what season it will be during your child's first three months. Be ready to layer your child, because even warm days may be cold to him indoors (remember he spent nine months in the balmy body temperature of your womb). Additionally, I make sure that all my child's clothes in the first six months (at least three) are organic. The reason is that young skin just isn't ready for the chemicals (namely pesticides) often found in clothes, and organic is the best way to guarantee those chemicals aren't there. This has been proven to reduce the risk of SIDS by not interfering with respiratory development the way chemical-laden clothes can. As your child gets older, he can adjust to the chemical make-up of the world, but right now, he is extremely sensitive. This doesn't have to be expensive. Online at Amazon you can find fairly inexpensive brands of organic clothes. We buy a lot of our organic baby clothes from Hanna Andersson (their baby stuff is not nearly as expensive as their children's clothes) and Baby Soy. Plus, organic cotton is much sturdier than regular cotton, and with all the laundry you'll be doing, it will hold up much better and last you longer. Once you decide where to buy, here's what you'll need:
- Onesies: At least 8-10 of them. If you have a boy, consider he'll soil them easily when peeing on them while you are trying to diaper him. If you hate laundry, double this number, because I base it on the fact that we do laundry every day.
- Pajamas without the footsies: At least 6 of them. They are the most comfortable thing your child will wear around during the day, and most likely the only thing that will fit him those first few weeks. We bought a lot of footsie pajamas that our son can't fit into yet. Luckily, most of the pajamas that I bought were from Hanna Andersson and they can be folded in the area of the hands and feet...meaning they will last him from the hospital to 6 months! Talk about a money saver as well as a life saver. Buy the ones with footsies when your child is a little older and you know what size he is.
- Socks: Because you don't have footsies on your pajamas, you gotta keep that little one warm on the toes. I recommend at least 5 pairs.
- Very small hats: We had so many hats when we brought him home, only to discover that two of them fit. Newborns have very small heads and bodies; many 0-3 month clothes don't fit them (unless you have a very large baby). Touched by Nature by Hudson Baby (bought it on Amazon...two organic hats for $5) has hats that fit perfectly on a little head! We have six hats for him and they are in constant use; we are always leaving one in another room or trying to find one. You could easily make do with less, but I would make sure you at least have two.
- T-shirts and pants: 3 long sleeve t-shirts and 2 pairs of pants will allow you to dress your child such that you can get air to the umbilical cord stump. It also gives you some versatility in his wardrobe without having to spend too much on clothes you'll only use for three months. Plus, pants are so much easier to get off in a diaper change than pajamas are. Long sleeve t-shirts are good because onesies can always serve as the short-sleeves if you need them.
- Take to the hospital: Bring a few onesies, a t-shirt and pants outfit, a pajama, and a hat to the hospital. Your clothing will be so much more comfortable than what is provided at the hospital.
Blankets: Make sure you have at least 3 blankets that work for wrapping your child as well as swaddling. We use the Hudson Baby Touched By Nature Blankets; they are so soft, work great, and are inexpensive organic cotton. Bring one of the blankets to the hospital; the blankets there are scratchy and uncomfortable in comparison.
A note about blankets specifically for swaddling: Some children like to be swaddled; some children hate it. You have no idea what your child likes until you try. At the hospital, have a nurse teach you how to swaddle and note whether or not your child is calmed by this. Most children will be. Learn this skill well and practice at the hospital where you have nurses who can demonstrate it again for you if you need. Swaddling is one of your best defenses in calming a fussy baby, assuming he likes it. If you learn that your child likes swaddling, I highly recommend the Miracle Blanket. You can order this online from the hospital once you know that your child likes swaddling and have it there when you get home, or you can order it ahead of time and return it if it doesn't work for you. The company (as well as Amazon) has a great return policy. Another great swaddle blanket is the Swaddle Me by Summer Infant; it can be a little easier to use so check it out along with the Miracle Blanket.
Diapering: We are a cloth diapering family. However, my largest concern about cloth diapering was that we needed to settle into parenting before starting the cloth diapers. We ordered a case of chlorine-free diapers and a case of wipes, which lasted about two weeks. I recommend you buy at least two cases of diapers for the first month and see where you need to go from there. Buy a case even if you are cloth diapering right away, just to make sure you have all your options available. I attempted to start cloth diapering in week two and felt that the one-size-fits-all Fuzzibunz were a little too big for my son, so I'm going to wait until he is just a little bigger.
A note on the wipes warmer: many people will tell you that you need this and when you see your child fussing so much at a diaper change and shivering, it may seem the likely fix. It didn't work for us. If you want to save money you could always check to see if your child calms when wiped down with a warm cloth (after a urine soaked diaper and not a bowel movement); if it calms him more, buy the wipe warmer.
Feeding: For the first month, all you will really need are burp cloths if you are breastfeeding. There is a lot less spit-up. Five will probably work best and then you can increase as your child gets older. For bottle feeding you may need more, and a few bibs as well. I have been told that a bottle warmer is very important for bottle feeding as well. If you are breastfeeding, you will be holding off on any bottle use or pumping for the first month.
Sleeping: Sticking with the safety of having your infant sleep outside of your bed to reduce the risk of SIDS (you can always change this when he's older and bigger), I highly recommend a bassinet or co-sleeper for your bedroom. A bassinet that requires little effort to make it rock works very well. It will allow you to respond to your child immediately. Life is a lot easier on both of you the faster you can get to your child; and that's always easier with less distance to cross. Another idea is to also purchase the Fisher Price Rock and Play. Baby can sit in it during the day and if he needs to be propped up at night (a lot of babies suffer from reflux symptoms when first born) you can let him sleep in it at night. It helps to easily rock him if he wakes. I still recommend purchasing a flat bassinet as well for later when your child needs or wants to sleep flat.
Carrying or Sitting: A baby carrier or wrap is good to have, especially if you have a lot to do and need to move around a lot. Wearing baby is the best way to keep him calm and make it easier for you to respond to his needs quickly. Otherwise, just keep your child tucked safely in your arms or the arms of a family member. The Sleepy Wrap is a very easy wrap to use and not complicated to put on. The Ergo Carrier is great for outdoor use when they get bigger and can spread their hips. However, for the first 6-8 months while you are waiting for baby to fit into an Ergo, I recommend the Baby K'Tan. It worked the best for me and my son. I am not a fan of keeping your baby in car seat carriers; it is bad for his physical development as well as his mental comfort of needing to be held in those first few months. If you must put baby down in something (and he'll let you), I recommend a simple bouncy chair. Remove any attachments that might overstimulate him that first month. We have the Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance and it's great; when baby is older he can control the bounce with his own movements. We rarely put him in it, but sometimes he enjoys it for a few minutes while we try to eat. For a very fussy baby, a bouncer that vibrates can work well. A Boppy is another great thing to have; we brought ours to the hospital. Our son loves to lay in it and look at us when he's awake. At night, we let it cradle his legs in his bassinet while he's swaddled so he can't roll.
White Noise: I recommend something for baby that makes good white noise. You can go for a machine, but I recommend the CD from The Happiest Baby on The Block. The cost is less than a machine and the reward is great.
For the New Mommy or Daddy:
Breastfeeding:
- Shirts: For the Mommy who is breastfeeding, I highly recommend buying a few henley shirts or any shirt that buttons down. It is a great way to get to your breasts fast when you are just learning the process. And if your child is anything like mine, those first few weeks are impatient ones. This allows you to see what you are doing and get the right latch. As you get more talented, then you can move to shirts that you can lift up but might hinder your sight.
- Bras: Buy at least four breastfeeding bras and/or four breastfeeding camisoles. Take a bra or two to the hospital. You will want to be wearing it when your milk comes in (this goes for moms who are bottle feeding as well, as your milk comes in no matter what). The camisoles let you just drape something warm (like a cardigan) over top and allow you to get to your breasts fast when you and baby are learning what you are doing. This all may sound like a lot, but when you start leaking, you will begin to notice how much you have to launder these bras. If you plan on doing less laundry, buy more. If you are not extremely large, you can eventually by bralette-type bras that you can just pull down, but they don't offer too much support. Avoid wires as it can interfere with your breast's milk producing.
- Nipple Cream: Start out with a lanolin-based cream (either buy it to take to the hospital or ask as soon as you get to your room). When things improve you can move to a more natural cream like Motherlove or any other kind of herbal cream, if you choose.
- Nursing Pads: Buy these early and have them on hand. Leaking will be common in the first month and this will solve the problem. They can reduce chafing. I recommend SC Johnson's Super Absorbent pads. If you can only find the contoured ones, buy them, but don't use the sticky back until you are done being sore. You can also buy cotton or wool ones depending on how you leak, but in the early days, it will require a lot more laundering then you may like, so consider this when choosing.
- Breast Shells: Before you get to the hospital, buy a set of Medela Soft Shells. These are silicone backed breast shells that go over your nipples. They seem silly and at first you might think that you don't want to use them, but if you make any breastfeeding mistakes, these will be your lifesavers. Placing them over your nipple will prevent chafing from your clothes and provide the air necessary to help them heal. In the hospital a lactation consultant might give you completely plastic breast shells and, while they help at first, the hard plastic against your breast may become equally uncomfortable. The Medela Soft Shells were best friend that first week I was home.
- Nursing Cover: At home, breastfeeding is much easier because you can see what you are doing. Out and about, breastfeeding becomes harder when you need to cover up but you are still trying to make sure your little one latches. Nursing covers are easily placed over your head and hang around your neck. They have a rigid neckline that lets you look down easily and adjust your little one.
Hydrating: Buy a water bottle that's easy to use with one hand and won't spill if you need to close it fast and drop it; especially, if you had a caesarian section. Drinking a lot of water those first few weeks will help your body heal and expel all that liquid within you, letting your uterus shrink faster.
Post Caesarian: If you have a scheduled or emergency C-Section, then you will find that getting around is going to take a while. You will also soon discover that you have no abdominal muscles for a weeks. In the meantime, a wedge pillow in bed will make transferring from the incredible machine-operated hospital bed to your very flat bedroom mattress much easier. There are many on the market, but I purchased the one from Brookstone and it's great. Whatever brand, I recommend one made with memory foam. I use the 12" high wedge and it allows me to sleep at an incline so I have much less distance to cover to get up and out of bed.
Reading: If you do any post-partum reading, I recommend The Happiest Baby on The Block by Dr. Karp (check out his website www.happiestbabyontheblock.com). If you don't have time, buy the DVD and watch it. Purchase the White Noise CD they have as well. If you do anything, make yourself available to this information...you will likely be relieved you did!
Patience: To make it through the first three amazing but needy months of your infant's life, give yourself the gift of time. You may be going back to work or you may be a new stay-at home mom; either way, these first few months you hopefully have some time off. Consider it time off from everything! Rent movies, relax, breastfeed, hold your baby while he sleeps. You don't have to be on the go; just be with your baby and enjoy. There will be plenty of time in the future for running around and exploring the world. Right now, just explore learning each other. And remember to smile!
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