The Beauty of Repetition: Letting Our Children Have A Learning Moment

One of the most amazing aspects of a child's learning process is the act of repetition.  It is phenomenal how a child can do something over and over (and over and over!), trying desperately to master a skill.  This phenomenon is essential to their growth and allows them to learn to manipulate their bodies and materials in new ways.  From the outside, the infinite loop can seem frustrating to adults who feel the need to move children on (repetitive behavior is not something adults frequently engage in).  Sometimes we fail to recognize that there is amazing internal work going on, and if we hurry it, the moment is lost.

My little guy came across this path the other morning.  It was a steep little rocky path that made me nervous, but I could tell by his persistent little waddle that he was intent upon conquering it.  He began to toddle down it, figured out how fast he needed to go, and was able to control his balance.  When he reached the bottom, he walked back up, turned around, and came down again.  And again.  And again. He must have walked up and down that path ten times.  I stood there and watched while the dog sniffed around the sidewalk.  And then, suddenly, he reached the bottom of the path for the tenth time and he was done, continuing on with walking and moving his attention elsewhere.  The dog and I followed suit.  Lately, I've noticed, that he's been very focused on trying to master his balance while walking, particularly on different terrains.  Outside my mother's house, he practiced walking up and down a low-slanted curve over and over.  Occasionally, my husband would offer his hand in the beginning to help him over the curve and he would take it.  But after three or four times, he refused the hand and began to repeat the activity on his own.

As parents, we are often told to look for those teachable moments in which we can impart wisdom or knowledge to our children.  Those moments are wonderful to take advantage of, but there is another kind of moment.  Your child has his own internal teachable moments that have nothing to do with you. They are learning moments when your child has the opportunity to learn and master something.  Our role as parents is to simply let our children have and experience these moments without intervening (unless helping when they seem to look for it and backing off when they are ready to try it on their own).  So if you see an activity in repetition, let it happen!  Yes, it can mean waiting there and being patient, but it is so worth it.