The Secret of Childhood

It's my son's first day of Montessori. He is attending a two day/ half day toddler program while I work at the school providing parent education. He has never been under the care of anyone other than family, so it is a truly brand new experience!

I have always been on the other side of this equation; I've been the teacher welcoming the children, telling the parents not to worry. Never did I realize how much of an impact it makes upon a parent: the worry, the separation anxiety, the concern. I am lucky, I know my son's teacher well; I have known her a long time, spoken philosophy with her, worked alongside her. And I'm right down the hall. Still, I battle the anxiety.

But at my deepest level, I am excited for him, so excited. As I sent him off, it made me reflect on the secret of childhood. Dr. Montessori often referred to what she called the secret of childhood (she even made it the title of one of her books), illuminating the idea that every child is a unique being with his own destiny. Every child has his own capabilities and desires that will unfold over time. Only by watching and following this child, loving and respecting who he his, cultivating his independence, and encouraging his internal drive, will we ever become aware of his secret. Only when he becomes who he is meant to be will the secret be revealed. Sometimes parents want to outline their children's lives, but the truth is, only the child's reality will become the child's life. Only by giving our child freedom to develop and guidance without imposition can we hope they will become the best versions of themselves.

My son has begun his independent journey. The Montessori environment will give him his first taste of developing himself away from his family, discovering who he is on his own. I am excited to see what choices he will make, what passions he will hold, and what the secret of his childhood will define.

On Children
-Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.