Here We Go Again...! Preparing for the Second Time Around

I've been absent for a long time again; I'm a terrible blogger.  I'd like to say it's because I'm not the least bit narcissistic and I don't jump to tell everyone my every thought...but, most people who know me well wouldn't say that's entirely true (and they need not comment about it here either...!).  There are a million drafts started, but I have never feel like I have the time to get clarity of thought.  And then, well, there's always something else to do.  Truthfully, it's because I'm easily overwhelmed.  I'm amazed at all the other mommy-bloggers.  How do they do it??  Toddler, household chores, part time job....

...and well, there's this:

Yup, we've been at it again.  The arrival of baby girl (yes, I said girl!) is around the corner; our family is growing.  Pregnancy has made me gear up and get all excited to go...directly to the couch.  It's a whole different ballgame this time around.  Ok, I won't lie, I spent the first pregnancy on the couch, too; but this time, I can't actually get to the couch.  No, the couch is like a magic land that I cannot reach because, well, there's no laying down when you have a toddler.  And then those cherished moments that I can actually lay down??  Well, I don't want to do anything, let alone touch a computer.  So, there you have it, I'm an overwhelmed mommy who just wants to lay on the couch.  And, a terrible blogger.

I was contemplating the other day, though, that this pregnancy, and this baby, are a completely new and different experience.  One I am ready to start sharing (without a hint of narcissism...).  Because this time around I know something that I didn't know before.  Something I thought I knew last time, but really, I had no clue.  It all comes down to knowing one simple thing about children.  THERE IS NO PLANNING.  There's no point in even trying.  Instead of planning in those small moments I have to myself, I just lay down instead.

I get asked questions a lot.  What are you going to differently this time around?  Where is baby going to sleep?  When will your son stop nursing?  Where will your son sleep when the baby arrives?  My answer is always the same:  I don't know.  Because I don't.  I have no idea what the answers are to those questions, I won't even try to guess.  Why?  Because I'm not my son, and I'm not my daughter.  I have no idea how my son will react as he doesn't either.  And I certainly have no idea what my daughter will do because, in most senses of the word, I don't even know her at all yet.

Instead, most of our efforts have focused on my son; we are trying to get him ready for this big change that will be coming.  And if there's one thing this little guy needs, it's slow transition to change.  We talk about the baby all the time, he comes to all the doctor visits to hear her heartbeat, we practice holding his baby doll, and we read stories to the baby.  We tell her how lucky she is to have such a wonderful brother already.  He gives her big kisses goodnight and talks to her softly.  We listen to other babies cry and talk about how his sister will cry too because she won't have words, and he'll have to help teach them to her.  We talk about how she'll need a lot of "nummies" because she can't eat food like he can.  He may have no idea what he's in for, but we hope that we've made the process as gradual as he needs.  Still, it won't surprise me if, three weeks from when she arrives, he asks "when's she going back in?" 

As for me: if my son has emphasized anything to me, it's that he's the map that I must follow, and I know she will be too.  And follow her we will.  She will create herself, and we will watch in awe.  And I will have to make my own transitions; I will learn what it's like to love two little people so deeply.  I cannot imagine it.  But, ready or not, here we go!